A Silly Father
Mr. White was watching TV when his eight-year-old son came into the room. He cried, "Father, my grandpa just now slapped me in the face." Hearing that, Mr. White became very angry. And then he suddenly boxed his own ears heavily and said," You beat my son and I dare to beat yours."
傻爸爸
怀特先生在房间里看电视，他八岁的儿子走进来哭着说：“爸爸，刚才爷爷打了我一耳光。”怀特先生听了非常生气，突然，他重重地扇了自己一耳光，说：“你打我儿子，我也敢打你儿子。”
A Birthday Present
Helen: Mum, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?
Mum: No, dear, what is it?
Helen: A nice teapot.
Mum: But I've got a nice teapot.
Helen: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it!
生日礼物
海伦： 妈妈，你知道你过生日我会送你什么礼物吗？
妈妈：亲爱的，我猜不出，是什么东西？
海伦：一个很漂亮的茶壶。
妈妈：可我有一个很好的茶壶了。
海伦：不，你没有。我刚把它掉地上摔了。
A teacher said to her class:
"Who was the first man?"
"George Washington," a little boy shouted promptly.
"How do you make out that George Washington was the first man?" asked the teacher, smiling indulgently.
"Because," said the little boy, "he was first in war, first in peace, and first in the hearts of his countrymen."
But at this point a larger boy held up his hand.
"Well," said the teacher to him, "who do you think was the first man?"
"I don't know what his name was,"said the larger boy,"but I know it wasn't George Washington, ma'am, because the history book says George Washington married a widow, so, of course, there must have been a man ahead of him."
谁是第一个男人？
有个老师问班上的学生：
“谁是第一个男人？”
“乔治·华盛顿，”一个小男孩当即叫道。
“你怎么知道乔治·华盛顿是第一个男人呢？”老师问道，宽容地微笑着。
小男孩说：“因为他是战时第一，和时第一，国人心中第一。”
这时一个大点儿的男孩举起手来。
“那么，”老师对他说，“你认为谁是第一个男人呢？”
“我不知道他的名字，”大点儿的男孩说，“但我知道不是乔治·华盛顿，老师。因为历史书上说，乔治·华盛顿取了一个寡妇，所以在他前面肯定还有一个男人。”
Where are his books?
Jack: Oh, what a lovely bookshelf you have. How come you have no books on it?
John: Yeah, I had quite a lot before, but I sold all of them to buy this bookshelf.
www.qpx6.com
他的书在哪儿？
杰克：哦，你的书架可真漂亮呀！可为什么上面一本书也没有呢？
约翰：是啊，以前我到是有很多书，但是为买这个书架，我把书全卖了。
Wedding
Mrs. Jones and her little daughter Karen were outside the church watching all the coming and goings of a wedding. After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception and all the excitement was over. Karen said to her mother, "Why did the bride change her mind, Mummy?"
"What do you mean, change her mind?" asked Mrs. Jones.
"Well," said the moppet, "She went into the church with one man and came out with another!"
婚礼
一场婚礼在教堂举行，琼斯夫人和她的小女儿卡伦在教堂外面看热闹。人们照完像后都开着车去参加婚礼宴会了，一切激动的事都结束了，这时卡伦问妈妈：“妈妈，新娘子怎么变主意了？”
“变主意了？你指的是什么？”琼斯夫人问。
“嗯，”孩子说，“她进教堂时和一个男人，出来时又和另一个男人！”
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents.
"What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly.
"Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？”
“我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。
“你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？”
“她是个卖糖果的。”
First Lesson
The son of a businessman had agreed to join the family business, and on his very first day at the factory his father took him on to the roof and said, "Now, my son, I am about to give you your first lesson in business. Stand on the edge of the roof."
"On the edge, Dad?" said the puzzled youth.
"On the very edge."
"Very well, Dad," and the obedient son did as he was told.
"Now, when I say Jump!" said his father, "I want you to jump."
"But it's twenty-foot drop!"
"My boy," said the father, "you want to learn the business, don't you?"
"Yes, Dad."
"And you trust me?"
"Yes, Dad."
"Right, Then do as I say -- Jump!"
And the boy jumped, only to crash painfully to the ground twenty feet below. His father ran down the stairs to where the youth was lying, bruised, battered and winded.
"Now, my son," said the father, "you have just learned your first lesson in business -- NEVER TRUST ANYBODY!"
第一课
一个商人的儿子决定进入父亲的家庭企业工作。他去工厂上班的头一天，父亲把他带到屋顶上说：“听着，我的儿子，今天我给你上做买卖的头一课。站在房顶的边上。”
“爸爸，站在边上？”年轻人纳闷地问。
“站在紧边上。”
“那好吧，爸爸。”顺从的儿子照着父亲所说的去做了。
“好，当我说‘跳’时”父亲说，“你就得跳下去。”
“可是，爸爸，这可是20多英尺高呢！”
“我的儿子，”父亲说，“你不是要学做买卖吗，是不是？”
“是的，爸爸。”
“那么你就相信我好了。”
“好吧，爸爸。”
“好了，就按我说的办吧－‘跳’！”
小伙子应声跳了下去，浑身摔得生痛。父亲赶忙从楼梯上跑下去，见儿子躺在地上，浑身受伤，皮开肉绽，只有喘息的份儿了。
“听着，我的儿子，”父亲说，“你刚上了做买卖的第一课－任何时候也别相信任何人！”
www.qpx6.com
The Careless Mother
Tommy tore his trousers while climbing a tree. His mother told him to take them off so that she could mend them. "And you can stay in your room until dinner time," she said.
A little while later, she heard a noise in the garden. Thinking that Tommy had disobeyed her, she called out: "You bad boy, are you running out there without any trousers?"
A man's deep voice came from the side of the house:" No, madam.I've just come to clean you windows."
粗心的妈妈
汤米爬树时把裤子挂坏了。他的妈妈让他把裤子脱下来以便她能把它缝好。“所以你只能待在你的屋子里，直到吃晚饭的时候。”
不一会儿，花园里传来一片嘈杂声。他妈妈以为是汤米没有听她的话，于是就喊道：“你这个不听话的孩子，是不是没穿裤子就跑到那儿去了。”
这时一个低沉的男声从房子的另一侧传来，“不是，太太，我只是来给您清洗窗户。”
趣味英语 更新
趣味英语 推荐排行