Paddy
There was a small boy who had been given a little terrier for his very own，on which he bestowed the name of Paddy，and loved mightily．He was very saddened by the fact that he could not take his pet away with him on his holidays，which he was spending with some relatives in the country．
Whilst he was away Paddy's young life was cut short by an unfortunate adventure with a motor．The boy's mother feared he would take the news very hardly on his return；she broke it very gently，therefore，and was rather surprised that the little lad did not seem much perturbed．Later，however，she heard him weeping lustily in his bed．He was inarticulate with grief，but his brother explained that he was crying“about Paddy”．
“But，” said the mother，“I told him about it this morning，and he did not seem to mind！”
The brother explained，“yes，but he thought you said Daddy．”
帕蒂
从前有一个小男孩，他得到了一条完全属于他自己的小猎狗。他给小狗取名帕蒂，对它宠爱万分。他要到乡下一些亲戚家去度假，可又不能带上他的宠物，为此他很伤心。
他不在家的时候，帕蒂在一次不幸的车祸中失去了年轻的生命。男孩的母亲怕他回家时听到这个消息太难过；因此她相当小心地把这个消息透露给他，而颇为令人惊讶的是小伙子看起来并不怎么在意。可是，后来她听见他在床上哭得死去活来。他伤心得说不出话来，但是他的哥哥解释说他在为“帕蒂”痛哭。
“可是，”这位母亲说：“我今天早晨告诉他了，他好像根本不在乎啊！”
他哥哥解释说：“是的，可他以为你说的是爸爸。”
What Are The Two Words？
A very nice old lady had a few words to say to her granddaughter．“My dear，” said the old lady，“I wish you would do something for me．I wish you would promise me never to use two words．One is‘lousy’and the other is‘swell’．Would you promise me that？
“Why，sure，Granny，”said the girl．“What are the two words？”
是哪两个词？
一个非常高贵的老夫人有几句话要对她的孙女说。“我亲爱的，”老夫人说：“我希望你能帮我一个忙。我要你答应永远不要用两个词。一个是‘讨厌的’，另一个是‘极好的’。你能答应我吗？”
“噢，当然，奶奶。”女孩说：“是哪两个词？”
Ask Your Own
It was a cold，raw day at Washington．Champ Clark was discussing the gamins of the cities with an English visitor．The latter expatiated on the wit of the London type of the genius．Clark declared that if the Englishman were to ask any Washington street urchin any question，the urchin would make anaptreply．They sallied forth．
“What time is it，Bub？They tell me you can tell time by your nose，”said the visitor to the first newsboy they met．
“Ask your own，mister，mine ain't run nin’，”was the reply．
问问你自己的吧
这是华盛顿的一个阴冷天。钱普·克拉克正和一个来访的英国人讨论城市的流浪儿，英国人详细地叙述着伦敦式天才的机智。克拉克宣称，要是对方向华盛顿街上任何一个儿童提任何问题，那孩子都会对答如流。他们便出发了。
“什么时候了，小兄弟？人们说你能用鼻子报时。”
回答是：“先生，问问你自己的吧，我的不在走呢。”
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Limerick
There was a young lady of Niger，
Who smiled as she rode on a tiger．
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside
And the smile on the face of the tiger
打油诗
有个尼日尔小姑娘，
笑咪咪骑在虎背上。
他们兜风回返，
姑娘到了里边，
笑容挂在了虎脸上。
I'm Glad
A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad．“Now，children，” said she，“has anyone of you ever made someone else glad？”
“Please，teacher，”said a small boy，“I've made someone glad yesterday．”
“Well done．Who was that？”
“My granny．”
“Good boy．Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad．”
“Please，teacher，I went to see her yesterday，and stayed with her three hours．Then I said to her，‘Granny，I'm going home，’and she said，‘Well，I'm glad’！”
我很高兴
一个主日学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。“现在，孩子们，”她说：“你们当中有谁让别人高兴过？”
“我，老师，”一个小男孩说：“昨天我就使别人高兴过。”
“做得好。是谁呢？”
“我奶奶。”
“好孩子。现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。”
“是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说：‘啊我很高兴！’”
The New Baby
Mr．and Mrs．Taylor had a seven year old boy named Pat．Now Mrs．Taylor was expecting another child．
Pat had seen babies in other people's houses and had not liked them very much，so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too．
One evening Mr．and Mrs．Taylor were making plans for the baby's arrival．“This house won't be big enough for us all when the baby comes，”said Mr．Taylor．
Pat came into the room just then and said，“What are you talking about？”“We were saying that we'll have to move to an other house now，because the new baby's coming，”his mother answered．
“ It's no use，”said Pat hopelessly．“ He'll follow us there．”
新生儿
泰勒夫妇有一个七岁的男孩，名叫帕特。现在泰勒太太正怀着第二胎。
帕特在别人家看见过婴儿，他不太喜欢他们，所以他对自己家里也将有一个婴儿的消息感到不满。
一天晚上，泰勒夫妇正在为这个婴儿的降生计划做安排。泰勒先生说：“有了婴儿，我们的房子就太小，不够住了。”
帕特恰好在这个时候走进屋，他问：“你们在说什么？”他的母亲回答说：“我们在说我们现在得搬家，因为婴儿就要诞生了。”
“那没用，”帕特绝望地说。“他会跟我们到那儿去的。”
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It's His Fault
Billy and Bobby were small boys．They were brothers，and they often had fights with each other．
Last Saturday their mother said to them，“I'm going to cook our lunch now．Go out and play in the garden—and be good．”
“Yes，Mummy，” the two boys answered，and they went out．
They played in the garden for half an hour，and then Billy ran into the kitchen．“Mummy，” he said，“Bobby's broken a window in Mrs．Allen's house．” Mrs．Allen was one of their neighbors．
“He's a bad boy，”his mother said．“How did he break it？”
“I threw a stone at him，” Billy answered，“and he quickly moved down．”
是他的错
比利和波比都是小男孩。他们是兄弟，两人经常打架。
上个星期六，他们的妈妈对他们说：“我现在要做午饭了。去，到花园去玩吧，别淘气。”
“是，妈妈，”两个男孩回答，然后他们就出去了。
他们在花园里玩了半个小时，然后比利跑进了厨房。“妈妈，”他说：“波比打碎了艾伦太太家的窗玻璃。”艾伦太太是他们的邻居。
“他是个坏孩子，”他的妈妈说。“他是怎么把玻璃打碎的？”
“我朝他扔了一块石子，”比利回答：“他赶紧蹲下。”
Class and Ass
Professor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door：“Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today．”
A student，after reading the notice，rubbed out the“c”．
Later Professor Laurie came along，and entering into the spirit of the joke，rubbed out the“l”．
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